Know Better

I'm always surprised at how insensitive medical students can be. We are bombarded with useless facts and complex pathways that will never be relevant in clinical practice and then we blow off classes like "On Becoming a Doctor". I'm not saying that no one takes it seriously, but some people have no social skills whatsoever. Maybe social skills is the wrong word, I meant the common decency to know when is the right time to speak and whether what they are saying is inappropriate or not. As future doctors aren't we supposed to realize what a touchy topic a person's health condition is?

I know having a chronic, potentially physically disfiguring condition is hard, but it's even harder when someone constantly asks and prods at you about it. I know it's just part of accepting it. I know I can't hide from it forever. BUT IT SUCKS. I try not to let it get to me, make me any less confident, or even pity myself so I try to remind myself that some people do not know any better.

I guess I'm just beating around the bush but I am just fed up with people saying things to me without thinking first. It's insulting and hurtful and makes me want to punch them in the face... I was torn between being a bigger person and just ripping them a new one, because they obviously need to know that the way they are acting is unacceptable but in the end I tried to take the high road, because there will always be idiots out there.

ugh

Talent

Quality wise I don't know how great these are, but they look pretty awesome. The 2nd and 3rd ones are "Silent" violins and are electric violins.

They're so amazinggg!!!



I love their version of requiem for a dream that was adapted for the movie Lord of the Rings, renamed Requiem for a Tower. They look so intense while they play its so pretty! After going to our school talent show it made me wish I had kept practicing the violin. Hopefully in between studying I could practice..

Anywhere Else

I'm on the 5th floor of the library in a windowless corner wishing I could be anywhere else but here. I'm especially wishing I were in bed cuddled in my freshly washed comforter that Charlie recently peed on... I can't believe we are in our final weeks of med school. Just 7 moar weeks and FREEDOM! I will be back in Houston for a few weeks to shadow and relax with the fam and then its off to Guatemala for 3 weeks. I'm super pumped up to go.. now I just need someone to practice my spanish with haha. Anyway last week I felt like I was dying, I even went to the ER because I couldn't go to the regular doc for the chest pains I was having. It was weird having to wear a gown, letting someone put an IV in and getting chest x rays, but I'm okay now. Soon after I got better I got 2 stys .. sties? in one eye! I felt like I looked like the hunchback or something, oh yeah and I fell down some stairs in the rain, that was awesome.

Hopefully I don't kill myself before I come back to Houston in a week. :D





Wishing I were here!

I'm Dying

I thought I was dying on Thursday when I diagnosed myself with an enlarged left atria that was compressing my esophagus... but it may just be acid reflux. Anyway it's been keeping me up at nights so I'm attempting to go to the doctor today.

I keep trying to upload pictures but blog won't let me :(

I played my first IM softball game yesterday and guess what? yeah I got hit with the ball, of course haha Lets just say it was a pretty brutal game. I'd like to think we could have made a comeback if there were like 15 innings or something. BUT I did score the first run for my team.. yay I'm not completely useless woot!

I have yet to unpack all my things from my trip. After I drove back to San Antonio yesterday at 6AM I unpacked food, did 2 loads of laundry (that haven't been folded), slept, and dragged myself to 3 hrs of neuroscience. After I got home I had to wash charlie... cause he peed in my bathroom only he didn't pee a big pool he just kind of sprinkled here and there... then I went to softball, went to dinner for a friend's bday, ran to HEB to get lightbulbs.. and other misc, then just stayed home instead of going out drinking for his birthday, it felt amazing to sleep at 11:30.

Hi Cutie

Charlie makes everything better.







9 MOAR days?? Spring break ima comin! I can't believe I've only blogged once this year, med school has gotten the best of me. I haven't been juicing lately, except when I go back home but I have hit up the gym a LOT more than I did before, which was never.. haha BEACH BODY! wheee

Okayy back to studying.

Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels

This year I'm taking my new years resolution seriously. My mom was getting really into juicing and so I hopped on board. We ordered the Omega 8005 juicer and it came in today. 5PM was the last piece of solid food I had, and it wasn't really food it was tapioca. I followed the recipe below:

handful spinach

3 stalks of kale

2 golden delicious apples

small handful parsley

1 lemon

1 cucumber

This was a similar recipe to the one on the documentary called "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" which is on netflicks. It's a really good movie, great motivation to be the healthiest you can be.

By no means do I think that fasting for a day or two will make me look like... THIS

But I do hope that I can lose 10 pounds and keep them off for the rest of the year. I figured if I'm not in the best shape of my life now, I will never be! Plus having a fit, toned body while you're in your 20s is probably the best time to use it. It would be highly unlikely that I could keep juicing in San Antonio, 1. because I do not have a juicer and 2. because I don't have time to do it that often. SO hopefully by doing the following things this year I can accomplish my goal.

I will not drink tapioca, honestly tapioca might as well be little balls of fat! and I drink it almost... any chance I have really.

I will not eat certain fast foods.. (i.e mcdonalds, jackinthebox, wendys) I will make an exception for chickfila... only because its really close to school, but I will limit that as well

I will try to eat one serving of vegetables at every meal.

I will take the stairs instead of the elevator whenever I can.

I will not eat after 11 o'clock.

I will not drink soda (probably going to be realllly hard since I rely on caffeine it dr. pepper to keep me awake those long nights of studying)

Anyway while I can I will try to juice.

I bought like $26 worth of vegetables, that will hopefully last me 4 meals... took 30 minutes to shop, 30 minutes to wash, and prob and hour to juice.

It tasted okay... at first it tastes disgusting but your taste buds acclimate after awhile. My body is probably recognizing all these nutrients as foreign.. hehe

I'll leave you with a picture of bam bam and charliebear. Updates on the juice thang when I get a chance.

Thoughts

Pumpkins will rot after a week outside.

I wish I had seat heaters in my car.

One can never have enough socks.

I'm a bad listener.

I'm a demi lovato fan girl.

Dissecting a penis is not as fun as it sounds.

I don't want to be a pediatrician.

Today I went to hear Eva Kor, a holocaust survivor of the medical experiments done on twins. I cried twice, and the rest of the time I was trying to not cry... She told a horrifying but important story that stressed the importance of medical ethics. It is hard to remain humane sometimes, especially in anatomy lab.. it was well worth the hour away from studying to listen.

And it made me think of my family... :) I miss everyone!!!

Nutshell

I NEED to blog. It's been way too long since the last substantial blog. I feel like it's been months. Every day feels like forever yet overall time has been flying! Module 1 of medical school has taught me a lot, not only material-wise but a lot about myself and how I function best. I've been pushing myself a lot to make it clear my intentions to go into Dermatology and so far things are shaping up pretty well. I am the MS1 rep for the derm interest group, and I have been asking around for research opportunities which I am very optimistic about. Early on I don't think I realized the workload that would come with med school, of course I had expectations and preconceived notions of how it would be, but I ADMIT I was not prepared!

I complained about the MCAT, but I think I study as rigorously for my classes on the daily basis with no end in sight!! Sometimes I think... do I even care what I look like, do I care that I've been in the same sweatshirt for a week straight? Do I have time to shower.. or eat.. or sleep. Not only have I been depriving myself of normal essentials I really feel it taking a toll on my health. I have yet to find that perfect balance, but I'm hoping in this next module things will fall into place.

Things I don't need to waste time on...

1. online shopping

2. reading and finding new blogs (or maybe I'll limit this to once a week)

3. finding/dl'ing new music

4. leisurely reading

This is the BEST ever. I tried to do without this thermos, but nothing compares. It is called the Thermos-Nissan I got mine from Target and it was about the same price. It does exactly what it is supposed to do.. keep your cold drinks cold and hot stuff hot. Also it fits perfectly in my cup holder and backpack side pocket. It is also one handed so you only need one hand to open the cup, in addition it has a little easy sip thing :) (Also no stupid straw, sucky thing like most other waterbottles)

I got distracted by all my beautiful writing utensils. I realized all the pens pencils I own are pilot brand. :)

Finally found a really decent asian/sushi place in San An. It's called Wasabi and it is literally 3 minutes away from my apartment. I believe I will be a regular.

So a week an a half before my test week of hell began I suffered through this (above)!! I had bit my lower lip and two canker sores started growing where I bit it, they slowly enlarged and merged into one GIANT ANGRY monster on my inner lip, constantly rubbing against my teeth. I stopped eating for like a week, I couldn't smile, my lips hurt to touch and were constantly dry, I couldn't talk without looking like a freak, and it was hard not to drool. AHH Anyway I know this picture is really gross but I couldn't not post it... when they started merging it was sorta heartshaped... see it?! haha everything is all good now, I think I've gained back all the weight that I lost.

Just some bakery pictures from one of the days I was not very productive.

Breakkk

What did I do this weekend:

1. zumba

2. After a nice workout a few classmates and I went downtown to an event called First Friday. The first friday of every month a sort of art fair/stands of handcrafted goodies are sold on the streets. We hit the streets and immediately scoured the area for food. In the end we didn't spend much time exploring, instead we spent the majority of the night at an ice house called The Friendly Spot.

3. After 11 PM, we decided to roll out and hit up Bonham Exchange, the most happening gay bar/club in san antonio.

4. Fast forward to 230 AM, I am locked out of my own apartment, not because I forgot my keys btw.

5. 4 AM instant noodles

6. 4:30 AM online shopping

7. 5 AM snooze...

On Sat I tried out a tapioca/hookah place called Suck It San Antonio... boba was alright not quite up to houston standards but it will do. I hated how the place smelled like hookah and didn't have enough tables, def won't be studying there.

The summarized outline is the result of 1 full week of med school. I am shorthanding everything and cutting out the fat.

The rest of the weekend was filled with studying... In 3 hours today I covered 202 exam questions, that blew my mind.. I felt nonfunctional after cramming so hard.

This video was post below by one of my classmates, I love it!!! I sorta feel this way now....

New Home

Finally got internetz! After the guy came I ran to bestbuy to get a router and my we set it up all by ourselves :) So things are still getting settled, I have tons of pictures I want everyone to see but so far this is my bed, which I loveee.

This is the moving crew below, thanks for ALL your help guys! I couldn't have carried/setup/clean/drive the UHAUL without you! The picture is really blurry, but it's the only one I have of everyone :/ It was taken Sat night when we all went to Austin to party it up and see the bats.

Today I got my school ID and parking tag. I look like I fit right in, in San Antonio already with my dark tan.. More updates later tonight once I get home. I'm doing some Bikram Yoga with my roomie and other classmate.

Oodles

Vietnam Part 2

Internetz I love you. It is Thursday 7 AM in Vietnam right now. Since we arrived Saturday 21st, I've only really been here 5 full days. It seems like a LIFETIME ago.

Gramps back in the day. My mom says he was very dep trai and said he could have been a movie star. I agree.

Me and the cousins. It's strange seeing things of mine that were sent to vietnam a long time ago. Like a necklace I used to wear that my little cousin wears now, or a jacket I forgot about that is used by my cousin daily. Thinking about all the times my mom told me to sort through my stuff to send home, I wish I had been more generous because I really don't NEED the majority of my closet. I'm also the oldest one in the picture, but I feel like a kid when I'm around my some of my cousins that are 16 and work so much harder just to live, like they never experience being a teenager or being carefree. I have another 5 days in Vietnam, but I really feel if I can make it through this, I can make it through anything and med school should feel like a vacation. Experiences like this put life into perspective. I worry and stress about medical school, but what is there to complain about? I'm learning something that interests me and building a career for myself. At least I have a place to live, food, a car, and AIR CONDITIONING. All I have to worry about is studying...

My leg after the mosquitos raped it. Trust me there are more, in places that are not easy to take pictures of.

Trying on fabrics for ao dais... it was my mom's doing I tell you! But I didn't like this lavender one she picked. I wanted to post pictures of the actual funeral and burial process, but it's too much. It was so consuming in every way.. mentally, emotionally, physically. Now I understand why we perform certain traditions, and how it may seem strange to others, but really serves a purpose in guiding his spirit away from this earth. Hopefully I can articulate it better in another post.

In Pursuit

We all try to pursue what we think will make ourselves happy, or at least what will lead to the most livable outcome. In my pursuit, I have based my happiness on what will make everyone else happy. I think 'If everyone else is happy with my actions and my choices that should make me happy as well'. Truth be told I don't know what really makes me happy... I admit my logic is flawed and sometimes my view is narrow, thinking everything must be black or white. My cognitive outlook makes me feel a sense of helplessness, even when I know I have a choice and that my happiness is only limited by my failure to make healthy decisions.

...

This should have been posted a few weeks ago but I've been so scatterbrained lately I just got around to uploading.

I had the honor of being RMH's volunteer of the month for APRIL! I was shocked to say the least and was super excited to get this huge block of post-its (I love anything stationary) haha.

This past week I've been working out much more than usual (3 times). This workout craze was spurred by my tight (button popping) ao dai situation. I don't expect to see results (I wish) soon but I do notice working out makes me feel like I accomplished something. Along with more cardio I've been "dieting". My version of a diet however is just to eat smaller portions, as in stopping when I feel full, not eating those 4 last pieces of sushi :(, no fried foods, no GREASY burgers, and less junk food.

Dress : Target

Cardigan : Zara

Shoes : Calvin Klein

Bracelet : The Limited

Goal : Lose 5 pounds (in arms, tummy, and love handles :P oh why can't we choose where our fat cells shrink...)

GIF Fun

Happy Birthday to my MOM :) she's turning 22...

Hands down cutest parents EVER! haha

Afterwards we went into the room and did this...

This is what we do.

haha final four baby :P jk.. I don't know what that means but I think it has something to do with basketball...

Sorry about the sizing issue, still trying to figure out the best way to make a GIF. I've taken so many pictures in the past 2 days, instead of posting them all I tried to make a little animation haha. ohmygah it took me forever to resize and upload these pics.. but enjoy!

Playing with a huge bubble wand, wishing I was a kid again. Bam bam was not amused at the bubbles...

I also got this lovely glassware to hold my misc cuffs and rings. They kind of have a purple sheen to them, even better!

Awright time to get stuff done, I can't believe it's almost APRIL already... 3 months into 2011... crazy how time flies

Grompers

This romper last seen here is one of the few that actually look okay on me. Without tights is a little short for me so I would prob wear it over a swim suit for the summertime. I pretty much went through all my shoes to decide which ones didn't look funny with blue tights.

I'm MOVING IN 3 MONTHS!!! AH

I never posted pictures from apartment hunting but that day we saw 8 apartments! so you'll see just the one we decided on.

Anyway this is one of the apartments we saw and didn't pick (above) but the fridge made me crack up. This is what mine will prob look like when I live by myself... stocked with sodas and candies. :P

All the pictures below are the ones from the apt we ended up going with, we sign the lease next weekend at the UTHSCSA welcome week :)

Toodles

Version 2

HI! Since my last post MAJOR things have happened. On Sat I went up to San An with my future roomie to find our home for hopefully the next 4 years. I think we found the one... all I can say is HUGE CLOSET, case closed haha. JK it is in a safe, quiet area thats gated and relatively new. Less then 5 minutes from school and close to the major freeways and food places. Reasonably priced, can't wait to show you guys pictures.

Yesterday I wore this outfit below to get some food at korean noodle house with the sisters and cousins :) Wore my clubbin outfit ;P

The shirt is from AE, and I basically wore it backwards cause I wanted the lacy part in front, weird?

Skirt & tights : Forever21

So this jacket may seem familiar since I wore it like 3 posts ago but in black. It's the D Collection jacket I got from Urbanoutfitters in Camel, I could pretty much wear it everywhere.

Today I brought home this stud...

Hi, my name is Ernie... I have a big nose.

Pretty sexy from behind too.

Instead of the usual stare people get from me on the road, I'm actually happy to be driving Ernie around haha. It was the scariest thing driving a brand new car off the lot! Not to mention I drove home during traffic hour and people are such bad drivers. We spent like 6 hours at the dealership today, I hate to say it though nissan has horrible salesmen and service. I don't know if it was just our experience but man... Not only were they very inefficient they basically told me how to evaluate their service when I filled out my survey. But tis okay, I really love love my car and I am definitely more motivated to keep it clean now hehe... Goodnight now :)